Today I discovered I am a carrier of BRCA1.
Today and from this moment onwards I have an 80% chance of developing breast cancer and a 60% chance of developing ovarian cancer.
Today is the calmest and most relaxed I have felt in nearly a year.
My geneticist, Marjie, opened the envelope in front of me. 'This is not the result we wanted' she said and then cried. Bless her heart. I ended up cuddling her! Then I sat back down, had a little cry...just a few tears...then said 'what now?'. I will be referred to a gynaecologist & to the breast unit in the new year.
This day will change my life, how can it not? Which in a way is strange because this gene has been inside me from the moment I was a little cell in the womb. BRCA1 has always been a part of my life, silent and unnoticed. A little ticking time bomb, undetected. Had my aunt not agreed to genetics testing before she died I might never have known.
But now I do know and a strange sense of calm has washed over me. It's December 16th. Christmas is just around the corner. And I do not want to deal with this now. For the past 10 months not a day has gone by without BRCA1 being a whisper in my mind, a thought before I've gone to sleep, a tear in my eye when I look at Ruairi. Well now I know, I AM a carrier, I WILL have big decisions to make. But not now. I am officially on a BRCA1 break. I am going to have a lovely christmas with my little family and come the new year I will deal with this. But not now.
Merry Christmas everyone xxx