What I know is my aunt battled cancer with bravery and dignity but still lost after a long fight.
What I know is my cousin also carries the gene and as a result has had a full hysterectomy and mastectomy followed by reconstruction.
What I THOUGHT I knew was that it was a mother / daughter thing and wasn't any thing I should be worried about.
What I NOW know is that it is a family thing. That my aunt, my uncle and my cousin are carriers. That my father could be and if he is I have a 50% chance of carrying the gene. And if I carry the gene I have up to an 80% chance of breast cancer and 60% chance of ovarian cancer. Both cancers my aunt battled. I am one of three sisters and we could all carry this gene.
Ruairi, my Ruairi. My 2 year old son. My world. And now this feels all I know, that I could have this gene. That I could right now have cancer within me. Hiding, lurking, waiting to develop. I keep looking at him and wanting to cry. But I am with mum and it has broken her heart having to tell me this. Having to explain that through Dad I could have inherited this gene and that as a mother she is completely powerless to do anything about it. Looking at my boy I know exactly how she feels because suddenly I am feeling so powerless and so terrified.
My only thought is leaving my little boy and it is breaking my heart.